How to Know if You’re Lying to Yourself

Part 2

Lola Medicine Keeper, Loving Truth-Teller

Your body knows when you’re lying, even if your mind does not…

Your egomind runs a slick carnival of lies. It’s hard to know which of your thoughts are true and which are white lies created by your ego to prevent you from reaching clarity.

Why does the ego do this?

The ego is like an embattled, scarred, and bitter warrior. Every time you gain clarity on your purpose/your mission/your truth; you need the ego that much less. This forces the ego to fight for dominance… To stay alive, the ego responds to your newfound clarity with a relentlessly aggressive barrage of believable lies.

This is why it often feels like two steps forward, one step back when you’re starting to hone in on who you are, your life purpose, and how to live your mission.

The only force preventing you from making leaping advances on your dreams is your own fear; one of your ego’s favorite weapons of war.

It becomes very difficult to know whether your intuition or your fear is guiding you.

Intuition is always truth, fear is usually a lie.

In the first part of this series, I wrote about how analyzing behaviors like procrastination can help you discern if you’re lying to yourself. Dig through your layers of justifications and you’ll likely hit upon an underlying truth that’s obscured by excuses.

Today let’s talk about your body language.

Your body know’s you’re lying before you do.

When you are in alignment with your truth, your body is open and receptive. Your chest is out, your shoulders are back; you stand like a warrior. Picture the stance of a confident lion.

If you want to test what truth and alignment feel like in your body, stand up right now and imagine yourself as a (two-legged) lion.

Take a deep inhale and feel your lungs fill your chest with oxygen. Plant your feet firmly on the ground shoulder-width apart, Straighten your back and curl your sacrum (tailbone) slightly under, put your chin high, open your eyes widely and take in your surroundings. Notice how grounded and centered you feel.

You feel the exact opposite when you’re allowing white lies to steer you off track.

Your shoulders cave forward, protecting your heart. You breathe shallowly, hardly noticing a sound as you inhale and exhale.

You literally drag your feet.

Imagine a timid, cowering weasel. Weasels slink, they glance furtively around them and constantly seek protection & permission.

When you are lying to yourself, your body shrinks.

Allow your shoulders to hunch, breathe as silently as possible, and notice how it makes you feel: This is what happens to you physically when you allow your ego’s lies to steer you off track.

Your body contains infinite wisdom about what’s in alignment for you and what isn’t.

Aside from posture and breathing, your solar plexus chakra is always attuned to your truth – it informs that “gut feeling” you get about something. When you are off track and listening to/creating white lies, your gut lets you know.

Gut feelings are experienced differently by everyone, but most of us get some sort of stomach butterflies when we’re excited/tuned in and a sinking feeling when we know something’s not right.

In my body, “gut feelings” when something’s wrong feel like this:

  • I feel a tightness in my esophagus like I’ve swallowed something too hot and my internal pipes are leaping away from the heat.
  • My stomach gets jittery – like I’m about to be caught red-handed.
  • I feel a heaviness in my abdomen, like I ate a rock and it’s weighing me down from the inside out.
  • Sometimes, I feel like there’s a piece of black charcoal lodged in my chest. It makes my heart race and I can’t take an unrestricted deep breath.

How do you experience gut feelings?

Take an inventory and note the signals your body gives you when something’s not quite right.

Learning your body & behavior patterns is critical to your personal evolution.

Our egos fight their death every step of the way to awakening. So, the more “awakened” you become, you can expect more white lies to emerge from the ego’s stores. 

You’ll be challenged to stay in alignment by very tantalizing choices, new attractions/distractions, endless reasons to procrastinate, and it will be very hard to discern whether these things are emerging from a place of intuition or a place of fear.

Things to notice in your body when you want to know if you’re lying to yourself or not:

  • Are you making solid eye contact?
  • Are you standing/sitting up straight?
  • Do you feel firmly planted on the ground?
  • Are you fully breathing?
  • What are your gut feelings?
  • Are you leaning forward or retracting backwards?

You can invite the real truth to emerge by being mindful of your body language.

Place your feet on the ground and spread your toes when you’re in challenging situations. Slow and deepen your breathing. Notice your shoulders and heart: Set your shoulders back and direct your chest up.

Think of your heart region as a shelf that you want to keep level. You don’t want the shelf to tilt and spill its contents: When lies of unworthiness and fear start to creep in, you’ll notice yourself tilting downward or backward, allowing your love and self worth to slip off the shelf. Keeping your chest directed upward/outward helps you remain heart-centered.

If all else fails, imagine yourself as a lion.

Do you think lions ever take any shit? Certainly not from their own fears. Let your body teach you when you’re aligned with your truth vs. when you’re not. Be fierce in your dedication to living, acting, and speaking truthfully.

When you maintain an openly strong stance, steady your breathing, and watch for procrastination, there are few opportunities for white lies to sneak into your brain & behavior. Slowing down and noticing your body’s signals will help you navigate tricky situations with more fluidity and less turmoil.

You must learn when you’re lying to yourself so that you can get back to your truth.

Keeping your ego’s lies at bay brings your forbidden life to you that much faster.

photo credit: pattoise via photopin cc

Lola - Creator of Wildly Amazing Things at WildPlayground.com

Lola Medicine Keeper is a full-time transformational coach, published poet, mama, holistic herbalist, and ceremonial healer. She loves nothing more than helping someone's "good on paper" life become great in reality.

She’s honored to guide her clients as they navigate the turbulent waters of identity crisis. When not leading ceremonies, retreats and classes or in a client session, you can find Lola soaking up the sun, drinking wildcrafted tea, or playing with her rambunctious family in the mountains North of San Diego, CA.

Social media: facebook.com/thelolapickett | instagram.com/thelolapickett

1 Comment

  1. Sarah

    This is fantastic and so helpful for me! I have been fighting and trying to ignore my truth for a long time, but with bits of insight I am finally letting it come through. Reading this now has helped me to break through some of the last hangups regarding my separation, and I am finally allowing myself to speak the truth to myself. Loudly and clearly with strength and a smile on my face, instead of cowering behind the lies of victim each time the truth peeks out! Thank You

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Elevate Your Being

Your presence inspires me... as do the words that you share on your podcast, your website, all the different touch points you choose to reach others with. It has allowed me to start weaving the narrative of what I desire to create. Your courage gives me courage. Your vibration dances with mine. Your work still carries me forward with its potency. This is excellence.

~Alexandra